To Leave and Never Return
by karkatspanties
Summary: Wolfram is forced to leave Japan,and Yuuri reflects back on his life with leading up to Wolframs secret... Yuuram metions of Murram and Murata/OC -RESUB-
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: **I took this down and now I'm resubmiting it. It is now a one-shot like I originaly wanted it to be so it is different. I started writing a sequal, but I think that it'd be to much so I deleted it.

**Disclaimer:** Do I really have to say this?... I do? I thought it was obvious.... It's not? Gah! I unfortunatly don't own KYOU KARA MAOU... T///T there I said it....

To Leave and Never Return

_"I'm leaving Japan." He finally was able to say after what seemed like forever in silence. He didn't want to tell Yuuri, but he knew he had to. He'd never be able to just disappear on the Japanese boy. He was his best friend._

"_What do you mean 'I'm leaving'?" He demanded. His black eyes giving away the pain that came with the words. He wanted to know why Wolfram was leaving… No he need to know. Wolfram was his best friend and he was leaving him. The blonde better of had a good reason._

_Instead of a sarcastic reply, which at this point Yuuri would prefer because it would tell him everything was all right, Wolfram would have normally given he just smiled, bitter-sweetly. "I'm going back to Germany tomorrow."_

_Yuuri stared at Wolfram betrayed. He wasn't sure why he felt betrayed… Oh wait, yeah he was. Wolfram hadn't told him before now. "Why?" He couldn't understand why he wasn't told sooner… He would have spent more time with the blonde instead of avoiding him. "Why didn't you tell me?" He didn't even have a full twenty-four hours to spend with the blonde, he wasn't even sure if he had even twelve hours to spend with his blonde friend._

"_I tried, but you we're never there…" The blonde turned from him and leaned over the railing of the balcony his emerald eyes watched the sun setting._

_Yuuri's eyes widened, guilt twisted in his stomach. "I… I… I'm sorry, Wolf!" Yuuri pushed back his tears. He couldn't cry here. This was his fault and he knew it. Wolfram would never willingly go back. He must have done something that made Wolfram want to leave him._

"_Will you come with me tomorrow?" Wolfram turned to him with pleading eyes. "I would feel better if you were there."_

"_Where?"_

_Wolfram just looked at him with blank eyes. No insults, no emotions in the normally firey green eyes, no fire either, just blank green eyes staring back at him. "Airport. I want you to be there."_

_He wanted to yell no, but Yuuri couldn't tell the blonde that, because that would be a selfish thing to do. Wolfram wanted him there, and he couldn't not go just because he didn't want to see Wolfram walk out of his life, but he couldn't find his voice so he nodded. They stood there in silence, Yuuri watching Wolfram, Wolfram watching the sunset. _

_Yuuri was finally able to find his voice. "Tell me why your leaving." Yuuri's voice shook, he hadn't felt this sad in a long time. Or maybe ever._

_Green eyes turned to him looking at him sadly. "My father… I told you I was royalty… My father request my presence at the castle…" Wolfram looked away again. Yuuri knew there was something that Wolfram wasn't telling him, but if Wolfram wasn't telling him he was sure that he didn't want to know. Wolfram always told him everything. "I don't want to go…" His voice was almost inaudible and Yuuri didn't hear it. _

_His father only had requested Wolfram's presence, that didn't mean that he had to stay for a long period of time, did it? Wolfram wouldn't be gone long. Black eyes filled with hope. "So that means that you can come back soon right?"_

Wolfram looked into his eyes. The reply was soft and lifeless, "I doubt it." The hope in the black eyes died, and Yuuri felt a nasty twist in his stomach. Yuuri knew that he didn't want to hear the next words. "I might not ever be coming back." Green eyes looked away again. Yuuri felt apart of himself die.

[Yuuri]

His heart was broken. He rolled over in his bed. Who would have guessed it would effect him like this? Not him, or anybody else for that matter. Oh, that's not quite true. He knew, everybody knew, but would never admit it to himself.

"Yuu-Chan, Ken-Chan's here to see you…" His mothers voice penetrated the door, it kind of irritated Yuuri that she didn't sound distressed by his current condition, but that soon passed because knowing his mom she was putting on an act for everybody. The retreating foot steps told him that his mother was leaving.

He didn't reply, just turned over to face the wall again when Murata opened the door. Silence was the only thing that filled the air between them. He wanted Murata to leave. He just wanted to be left alone, to sleep, to forget.

He heard movements of has desk chair, which told him Murata planed to stay a while. "Yuuri… Everyone's worried about you." Murata didn't expect a reply, but he did see the other boy wince he said his name. He stayed quiet for a while calculating the best thing to say to get some kind of reaction. Any kind of reaction would be nice, even anger. Murata breathed deeply, he understood how Yuuri felt, but… This was wrong. This wasn't Yuuri. Ironically, they all found themselves wish Wolfram was here to snap him out of this, but then again if Wolfram was here then Yuuri wouldn't be like this.

If he was going to get a reaction from Yuuri he was going to have to play dirty. He already felt sorry for what he was about to say and do. He grabbed Yuuri and forced him to look at him. Usually Murata would never resort to physical violence, but this was an occasion he was willing to make an exception for. Yuuri's eyes went wide in shock. "You're going to listen to me this time, Goddamn it!" Murata knew Yuuri had been listening the other times, it was just none of it had made it past his self pity.

It saddened Murata to see Yuuri this way. He vaguely wondered what Wolfram would think of this Yuuri before he put that out of his mind. Murata shook Yuuri slightly as he let his built up sadness on this subject turn to anger. "Stop being so self centered and thinking about yourself for five seconds! What do you think that you're doing to your family? What about your friends? What would Wolfram think if he saw you like this?! You know he was ever right about anything, he was always right about you being a wimp."

Yuuri's eyes darkened in anger and he swung at the boy, but Murata was able to grab it and stop it. "Look at this, look what your doing to yourself! You have everybody worried about your health! You haven't left your room for three weeks, Yuuri, three weeks! Not once! You have Mama-San in a panic that your going to kill yourself! And I'm worried about that too…" Yuuri's eyes soften. That look broke Murata's resolve and his voice soften drastically. "You know your not the only one that misses him. I miss him too…"

"I… I… I'm sorry, Ken."

Murata almost didn't hear it. "You have to get up. Enjoy our last week of vacation. Do it for your family, they're all afraid for you…" Murata, un-characteristically, hugged Yuuri. "Please? Find some reason to do it, even if it selfish. The rest of us will never know. So please…"

There was no reply and the black eyes glazed over again. Murata sighed and let Yuuri go. "I'm leaving now…" He left the room and descended the stairs. Miko and Shouma stood at the bottom looking hopefully at him, their eyes asking so many questions that he just didn't have the answers to. "I don't know…" Was all he managed to choke out.

"Thank you for trying, Ken-Chan." Miko hugged him tightly, and smiled. "You must be hurt too, and it must hurt more to see Yuu-Chan like this." She knew, she had seen it in his eyes.

"Saa…" Murata mumbled and pulled away and put on a smile like Miko did, she was always smiling. Someone had to be strong right? "I have to go Mama-San, Papa-San." He bowed respectfully.

"Thank you Ken-Kun… It might not have done anything, but you tried." Shouma voice was softer then normal. Murata didn't reply, just sat down and put on his shoes.

"Maah! I've got to start on dinner, bye-bye, Ken-Chan."

Murata just smiled and left. "Bye." As he closed the door a bitter smile crossed his lips. He leaned against it for a while and stared up at the sky. "You act like nobody knows your pain, but a lot of people do… Including me."

[Yuuram]

_The three children ran around, chasing each other; two with black hair and black eyes, and the other blonde with startling green eyes. One of the little black haired kids fell, hard, and instantly started crying._

"_Mah! Ken-Chan." Miko rushed to the crying boy whom she had taken under her care for the day. "It's okay…"_

_The other two boys only briefly stopped to make sure their friend was okay before they took off running again, a blonde Wolfram in the lead fallowed closely by irritated Yuuri._

"_Honey-Chan, don't go to far!" Cecile called after her blonde son and Miko brought a still whimpering Murata back to the spread out blanket in her arms. "You too Yuu-Chan." Miko added._

_The blonde ran into the woods ignoring his mothers call, and Yuuri ran after him, his mind only focused on out running the blonde, and not on the calls of their mothers. "I'm going to catch you!"_

"_Was auch immer, Schlappschwanz." Wolfram spat. "You couldn't catch me if you tried." Yuuri's eyebrows knitted together, he knew that Wolfram hadn't quite grasped all of Japanese yet, but it still through him off when the blonde spoke in other languages. And even though he couldn't understand what the blonde had said it irked him for some reason._

_Either Yuuri had speed up or Wolfram had slowed down because now Yuuri was right beside him, trees on either side of them the path going in a downward direction. Wolfram hadn't seen the root in the path, but Yuuri had. Even though Yuuri had seen it he didn't get to Wolfram in time and the blonde tripped and rolled down the hill pulling Yuuri with him. They reached the bottom of the hill in a pile, there bodies aching._

_Wolfram pulled himself off Yuuri, "Are you okay?" Yuuri looked into green eyes which were full of worry._

"_Y… yeah." Yuuri groaned._

"_Your bleeding!" The blonde moved to the water that Yuuri hadn't noticed until Wolfram moved to it. The blonde ripped off strips from the bottom of his shirt and dunked one in the water and moved back over to Yuuri and began to wipe wounds that Yuuri was suddenly all too aware of._

_Yuuri hissed in pain and pulled away from Wolframs hands. "That hurts!"_

"_Stop whining, Schlappschwanz…" his hands followed Yuuri's movements. "If I don't get the dirt out of them, they'll get infected. Then they'll hurt worse." _

_Yuuri stopped moving and started to distract himself, he didn't want to think about the pain he was in. "Wolf…" He pause waiting for Wolfram's reply, but he didn't get one so he just continued, Wolfram was busy after all. "What does Sc… Schl…"_

"_Schlappschwanz?"_

"_Yeah, what does that word mean?" Green eyes met black and the blonde grabbed his arm and began work on the scrape there._

"_Wimp."_

"_Ehh?!" He ripped his arm away accidentally from Wolfram which cause pain in Yuuri's arm. "You've been calling me a wimp this whole time." He glared at the blonde not that it did much good because Wolfram was paying him no attention._

"_Hold still." He wrapped the make-shift bandage around his arm then placed his lip against it and then the one on his knee._

"_What are you doing?" His face was hot and he was confused._

_Lips pressed against his forehead, "What little-big brother does when I get hurt."_

[Yuuri]

Yuuri slid from the bed, he pushed thoughts of Wolfram away. He gabbed clean clothes, he could smell the ripeness coming of his skin. He needed to bathe. He left his room for the first time in three weeks and walked silently to the bathroom.

He closed the door behind him and locked it. Nobody was to barge in on him. His family would be all over him, smelling or not, and he wanted to bathe alone. He undressed, dropped his clothes in the hamper, he showered scrubbing his skin; which was pale now; skipped the bath, got dressed, left the bathroom. He could smell the curry and it made his stomach growl letting him know just how long it had been since he had last eaten.

He hung his towel over his shoulders to catch water dripping from his and descended the stairs. He put a smile on his face as he reached the bottom of the steps where he almost ran into his mother coming up with a tray. She froze when she saw him and stared for a second before smiling and turning back into the kitchen.

"Dinner's done Yuu-Chan…" The tray was obviously for him. He took his place at the table, Shouma and Shouri stared at him, but didn't say anything. The plate that was on the tray was sat in front of him. He just smiled and began to eat not saying anything. He was afraid if he talked of what would come pouring out of his mouth if he did.

[Yuuram]

_They were alone in the cabin down by the lake as the rain poured down outside. Yuuri didn't even know why he was here in the first place. He knew why, but he didn't know why. Going to summer camp with Wolfram was a bad idea, he was having fun, he really was, but he didn't belong at this rich kids camp._

_Wolfram sat across the little space shivering. He was curled up on him self; knees pressed to his chest, arms wrapped around them, face buried his face in his knees. The only sounds around them were Wolfram trembling breathing and the sound of the storm whipping around them. Yuuri was cold to, but not like Wolfram._

"_Wolf," the blond looked up at Yuuri, his skin was gray and his lips blue, "Come here. If you stay over there you'll freeze to death." Wolfram looked like he was going to argue, but Yuuri just grabbed him and pulled him across the space. The blonde landed in his lap. Wolfram went to move away, but Yuuri held him there. Yuuri's face was red, but he looked away from Wolfram._

"_Yuuri?" The blonde looked up at Yuuri with wide green eyes._

"_Your freezing and I'm cold, and this is the…" His face grew redder, no not the best way to, the easiest. _

_He'd been quiet to long for Wolfram's liking he found out. "Fine." The blonde moved and settled in his lap, he wasn't that heavy Yuuri thought happily for second. Wolfram rested his head on Yuuri's shoulder his arms in-between there bodies._

_Yuuri's heart doubled, of not tripled, its pace. He looked down at blonde locks, Wolfram was putting off a lot of heat and Yuuri found he wasn't cold anymore. More like excruciatingly hot. He felt the blond relaxing, going limp in his lap. "Wolfram?" _

"_Your so warm… And I'm so sleepy."_

_Panic sat in Yuuri. He pushed Wolfram out at arms length to look at him. "Wolfram! You can't go to sleep!"_

"_I know…" the blonde replied sleepily. "Your just so warm and comforting…" A slight smile pulled at Wolfram's lips. "Yuuri…?" Yuuri pulled the blonde back to him against him, not liking the cold air that had flooded between their bodies._

"_Its getting colder." Yuuri stated, "Maybe we should try and get back to our cabin."_

"_We'd never find it with the way the rain's pouring down." Wolfram said softly. He pulled away and stood back up. The blonde walked to the far side of the room and grabbed the then mattress laying there. Yuuri got up and helped him. They dragged it over to where they were sitting. "Look for some blankets. I know that there's some in here somewhere."_

_Yuuri nodded and began to aid in the search. With the way everything was organized it didn't take them long to find blankets. And lots of them. Yuuri realized that he wasn't as cold now, but he could feel the chill sitting back in as he watch Wolfram make the bed. Yuuri looked in last cabinet and found some pillows. And dropped them at one end of the bed._

_Wolfram gave him a weird look, and he smiled sheepishly. "Might as well get some sleep. We'll probably be here a while." Wolfram didn't say anything, just pulled his shirt up over his head and it fell on the floor with a soft plop. "WHAT ON EARTH ARE YOU DOING??"_

"_My clothes are wet, I'm never going to get warm that way!" Wolfram said looking at Yuuri as if he was stupid. He striped himself of his swimming trunks and boxers before going to the door and locking it. "You should take your clothes off to." The slid under the pile of blankets._

"_Why did you lock the door?" Yuuri began to strip to, he saw no need to piss Wolfram off._

"_Because I don't want anybody just barging in. I am naked, if you didn't notice…" Wolfram gave him an annoyed look, his cheeks turning red, before turning his body to face the wall._

_Of course Yuuri had noticed. How could he have missed the blonde walk across the cabin in the nude? "Yeah, it wouldn't turn out to well if someone saw us in bed naked together. They'd get the wrong ideas." Wolfram didn't reply, and Yuuri slid under the blankets to just as naked at Wolfram._

_Wolfram turned over to face him, pale cheeks scarlet, eyes half lidded. Yuuri's heart speed back up. "If your still cold you can come closer…" Yuuri ignored his heart, which seemed to be trying to escape his chest, as he felt Wolfram press his body into the side of his, and his heart wasn't the only thing reacting to the blonde being so close and oh so very naked._

"_Yuuri? Are you --?!"_

_His lips covered the blonde's._

[Yuuri]

He was climbing the stairs back to his room. He had eaten dinner with his family and watched a movie with his mother. They didn't bring up the subject of Wolfram, which Yuuri was thankful for. He wasn't ready to talk about it. Memories of his blonde friend danced in front of his eyes and made his heart ache.

He got to his room and changed the message on the white bored that hung on his door, reading and erasing all the messages except the one Wolfram had left,

_Yuuri~_

_I'll love you no matter what._

_Wolf_

He smiled at the message set to the far side of his board. It had originally been a joke between the two of them. Yuuri began to write. I'm sorry, but I need more time to think… Then he added as an after though, See you at breakfast. because he didn't want his family to worry about him becoming a recluse again.

He entered his room and closed the door. He dropped on to his bed, which was covered in fresh sheets. His eyes flutter shut and memories danced in front of his eyes. "Yuuri…!" His eyes shot open, and he swallowed harshly. Even though it wasn't real his body still reacted as if it was.

[Yuuram]

_He didn't have to look up to know that Wolfram had joined him and Murata. "Hey, Wolf." He smiled cheekily._

"_Hello von Bielefeld."_

"_Hey…" He was silent for a minute before speaking again. "Yuuri can I talk to you during lunch break? On the roof?" Wolfram didn't miss Murata's smirk._

"_Of course, Wolf." His black eyes soft as he looked at the blonde. The blonde smiled bitter-sweetly before leaving to go sit in his seat. Yuuri turned back to Murata, "Do you know what that's about?"_

_Murata laughed good-naturedly, "'fraid not, Shibuya." The meant he did and he wasn't going to tell. _

_Yuuri sighed and slid from the top of Murata's desk and walked over and took his seat next to Wolfram right as the teacher came in. The blonde seem to be ignoring his presence, entirely focused on the teacher._

"_Shibuya!" Yuuri jumped as the teacher yelled at him. "Please focus on your work instead of on von Bielefeld."_

_Wolfram's cheeks turned red as did Yuuri's as he sunk down in his seat. He could hear people around him whispering, giggling and texting their friends in other classes. No doubt telling everybody about Wolfram von Bielefeld's newest fan boy._

_Lunch seemed like a God send. Yuuri had never been so relived for lunch. Well that was a lie. There was that day his mom had been to sick to fix breakfast and he had to go with out because he woke up late and didn't have time to stop at any store to grab something. This was a different type of relief though. Since Kirebayashi-Sensei had yelled at him his classmate had stared, asked him tons of questions, among other things until Wolfram demanded that they leave him alone during their last class switch._

_They walked out onto the roof together. Yuuri remained by the door as Wolfram walked toward the chain-link fence that went around the top of the building. "Wolf?"_

"_Putting off telling you will only make thing harder to do later…" Wolfram turned away from the fence and looked at him. "As my best friend I would appreciate it if you would just accept it as it is, but as a man I don't think you'll…" his voice trailed off and looked at the ground._

_Yuuri blinked confused, "Wolfram, just tell me."_

_Green eyes flashed up to meet his, full of firey emotion as he let the words spill out of his mouth, "Yuuri, I like boys."_

[Yuuri]

The beach. He was sitting on the beach under the giant umbrella his mom had brought. His skin was getting some of its color back, but he was still on the pale side. He sat there under the umbrella on the blanket reading a book. He couldn't believe what he was reading though; a gay romance novel. Murata had given it to him and since he had started reading it he couldn't stop.

The little sunlight he was getting was suddenly blacked. He looked up at Shouri was standing over him. "What do you want Shouri?"

"It's onii-Chan, Yuu-Chan." Yuuri rolled his eyes, but said nothing. "Mother wants you to join us in the water."

"But I…" He looked at his mother in her white bikini waving her arms back and forth, and yelling "Yuuuuuu-Chan" trying to get his attention. "Okay." He marked his place and dropped it in his bag. He stood and stretched before making his way to the water. He paused and looked up at the cliff where a year ago him and Wolfram stood.

"_I slept with Murata…"_

He pushed down the pain, pushed the memory to the back of his mind and continued to where his mother waited. She smiled at him before grabbing his wrist and dragging him further into the water, "Come on Yuu-Chan!"

"_Why? I thought that you…"_

Yuuri closed his eyes tightly trying harder to push the memory away. Hand covered his shoulders and his lungs filled with water as he was pushed under. He came up coughing and joined his mother in a game of "glare at Shouri until he cowers."

"_I do love you, but you were never there!"_

Yuuri was starting to get the feeling he wasn't there a lot of the time that Wolfram needed him, but Wolfram was always there for him. His stomach turned.

"Shou-Chan!! You could have drown… Yuu-Chan?" His mother stop in scolding his brother and turned to him. "Uma-Chan! I'm taking Yuu-Chan home! Stay here!" Yuuri didn't even protest as he was dragged out of the water and neither his brother nor dad tried to stop them or follow them.

"I'm sorry, Yuu-Chan. I forgot." She said with a sad smile. Yuuri wanted to yell at her for not understanding his pain, but when she looked at him with those pain filled eye he knew she did. "Things get easier to deal with, and Mama is very proud of Yuu-Chan." She hugged him tightly. "Lets change and we'll take the train home and leave the car for Shouma and Shouri." She let out a small evil laugh, "That way they get stuck cleaning up."

Yuuri smiled and followed his mom, she may not understand exactly what he was feeling, but she had felt some of his pain. She was trying.

[Yuuram]

_Yuuri watched Wolfram move, the bamboo sword in hand. Before now he hadn't known Wolfram was in Kendo and he'd known the blonde for as long as he could remember. Murata sat next to him cheering for the blonde who had beaten every one of his appoints up till now. Yuuri had been surprised when Murata had stopped by and asked if he was planning on watching the Kendo tournament today. He'd said no until his friend had said Wolfram was in it._

"_Why didn't he ever tell me he was in Kendo?" Yuuri's eyes never left the blonde boy._

"_Everybody else knew so I guess he thought you did too." Murata said giving him a weird look. "He's the best person on the team, and he's all anybody talks about. You really need to pay more attention, Shibuya." Murata was smiled at him in that weird way._

_Yuuri's eyes followed the movements of the blonde as he dodge another blow from his appoint. He knew the blonde was fast but he didn't know that he was that fast. Wolframs bare feet moved quickly across the polished floor, his movements sharp and precise. He dealt the winning blow and walked off the floor, he was done, tired._

_The blonde didn't join his team, but when straight to the locker room. Yuuri stood from the bleachers, Murata gave him a knowing look, and hurried after the blonde. He enter the locker room to find Wolfram stripped of clothing, leaning against a locker towel in hand, eyes closed._

_Yuuri froze in place. He couldn't remove his eyes from the blonde's body, and said boy hadn't noticed his presence yet. The longer he stared the more his face heated up. He knew he could no longer deny his attraction for Wolfram. The tent in his pants agreed._

"_Yuuri?"_

"_Ah… S… Sorry!" Before he could stop himself he turned and ran. Wolfram's voice echoed after him, "Yuuri!! Wait!!"_

_Yuuri couldn't get his heart to slow down, it only beat faster the further he ran. Before he knew it he was back home. He dropped on his bed trying to clear his mind, but images of the blonde filled his head. One stuck out more then others the time on the roof where Wolfram declared that he liked boys._

[Yuuri]

Yuuri sat in his desk, the one next to his empty, the one where Wolfram should be sitting, but wasn't. Yuuri paid no mind to the teacher. It really was nothing but a list of things that they would be doing this year. Yuuri's eyes were trained out the window locked on the Sakura trees. Wolfram's birthday was coming up soon. With that that thought he pulled out a sheet of paper.

That's what he did for the rest of the day. Write a letter to Wolfram and when he got home he was going to type it up and e-mail it to him because that actually made more sense.

[Yuuram]

_Wolfram blinked up at Yuuri as he leaned over the desk. "What do you want?" Wolfram whispered moodily. Not only did he have tons of homework, but the library didn't seem like it would be open long enough for him to finish his work, and now he was getting interruption._

_Yuuri smiled his goofy smile which pissed Wolfram off even more. "My parents rented a cabin out by the lake and they can't go because my dad has to work and my mom doesn't want to go alone, so she gave me the keys and I was wondering if you'd like to go with me."_

_Wolframs face turned red, and Yuuri's was already that color. The blonde was amazed that Yuuri was able to get through his explanation with out stuttering or stopping. "Yeah, but can we talk about that later. I want to finish my report."_

_Yuuri smiled, "But Wolfram, it's not due until after our break."_

"_So! I want to get it done so I don't have to worry about it later. Besides I'm almost done." Wolfram turned back to his report and quickly started writing again._

_Yuuri sighed and sat down across from him and pulled out some paper and began writing too. He might as well he knew that Wolfram wouldn't leave here until he was finished or the librarian kicked them out. He'd chosen something easy to write his report about, baseball, it didn't take him long to finish and when he did he looked up to find Wolfram quietly reading a book. Yuuri smiled widely._

_He put everything back in his bag before turning back to the blonde boy, "Wolf, I'm done." The blonde looked at him over the book before marking his place and dropping it in his bag. "It was in English!"_

"_Yeah." Wolfram said as if it was no big deal. "I needed to brush up on my English and the boy at the book store said it was a good book." _

"_Well is it?"_

"_Yeah. It's rather amazing." Wolfram stood from his chair and lifted his bag to his shoulder, and Yuuri followed suit. "It really makes you rethink your life." A small sad smile tugged on the blonde's lips. "Would you at least try and stop someone who was getting ready to rape me?"_

"_Of course I would!!" Yuuri said not even putting any thought into it. "What in the hell are you reading?"_

_A large warm smile spread across Wolframs face. He turned on the spot and Yuuri stopped and Wolfram stepped in front of him and placed his lips against Yuuri's forehead. "'For you, a thousand times over.'" His face remained its color but Yuuri's turned crimson. Wolfram turned back and took of, "Call me later!"_

_Yuuri blinked at Wolfram's retreating back not sure what he meant, but it sure did make his heart go at double speed._

_It was a while before Yuuri got home. "Yuu-Chan! Dinner's ready!"_

_"'Kay." Yuuri sat down and took off his shoes. "But how'd you know it was me?" He walked into the dinning room and took his spot. Miko was already sitting there._

_"Because your father has to work late and Shouri's not coming home tonight." She dished him some rice before taking her seat. "So did you ask Wolf-Chan?"_

_Yuuri's face turned red. "Y-y-yeah." He turned his attention to the food laid out in front of him and ignored the suggestive look that his mother was giving him._

_"Well?" She demanded._

_"Well what?" Yuuri said through a mouth full of rice._

_"What did he say?" She loved her son, really she did, but sometimes he was a little dense._

_"H-h-he said y-yes." His voice was small and the gleam in his mother's eyes increased. That was always a bad thing. "Eh...?"_

_"Yeah Yuu-Chan!" Miko said as the starter of her rant. "Maybe this will work out good for you. This is a good chance to declare your love for Wolf-Chan. Then one day you two will get married and then you'll be royalty! Oh my! Then I'll be the mother of royalty! And I'll have cute little Wolfy-Chan as a son too." She let out a long squeal not really talking notice that Yuuri was chocking on his food._

_"YOU KNEW?" He finally was able to spit out. "You knew I liked Wolfram?"_

_"Of course, Yuu-Chan. It's been really obvious for a long time." His mother smiled at him. "All of us did. You might not have noticed it, but we all did!" _

_Yuuri sighed and continued to eat while his mother ranted, but he blocked it out. His mind filled with everything blonde, green-eyed, and sexy._

_  
Yuuri hadn't even realized that his mother had stopped talking. His mind was too focused on what the extended weekend meant. "Dinner was good." He said staring almost mournfully down at his empty plate. He also hadn't realized that he had kept eating. "I've gotta call Wolfram..."_

_Yuuri stood and left the table, and walked over to the phone. He grabbed the cordless off of the charger and dialed Wolfram's house as he went up the stairs to his room._

_"You always have perfect timing, you know?" The voice was unnatural soft._

_Yuuri smiled, "What are you doing this time?"_

_"I just got out of the shower. Literally."_

_Yuuri laughed. "So are you still up for this weekend?"_

_There was a pause on the other end of the line. "The cabin? Yeah. Is Murata going to be there?"_

_Yuuri's heart fell. "No..." Wolfram was quiet on the other end and Yuuri panicked for a minute that he'd lost him._

_"So it's just going to be us."_

_"Yeah," Yuuri blushed at the thought. All alone with Wolfram, for a couple of days._

_He could hear the smile in Wolframs voice when he talked next. "Yeah I'll be there."_

[Yuuri]

Yuuri sighed as he looked at his empty in-box. Three weeks and Wolfram still hadn't e-mailed him back. He stared at the screen a little longer before crawling back in bed. He wasn't going to school today and he told his mom so when she came and cheeked on him.

"Okay Yuu-Chan." She said softly and ran her fingers through his dark hair. "You just get some rest and I'll bring you something to eat." She watched as his heart re-broke. Miko smiled softly as her son drifted back off to sleep.

In a way she blamed Wolfram. How could she not? He broke her baby's heart. But she knew that Wolfram was just as much a victim as her son. He left unwillingly, he threw a fit and even beg to stay at the airport, everybody looked the other way and said nothing. Her heart went out to Wolfram and she wondered what the boy was doing.

It was past noon when Yuuri left his bed. He thought back on the things that had happened in his life. Almost every signal one included Wolfram. The day when they were in the park as kids, the day on the roof of the school, watching the kendo matches, summer camp, the cabin, the beach, and the airport.(1)

His heart clenched painfully. He took a deep breath to calm himself and slid from the bed, his stomach growled unhappily. He was hungry. Yuuri descended the stairs and entered the kitchen. "Mom?"

There was no sound in the house, he sighed and look around the kitchen and saw the paper on the fridge.

~Yuu-Chan

Mama had to go shopping, left overs in the oven. Love you.

Mama

He sighed and pulled out the food out of the oven, a plate of Chinese take-out. He smiled and sat at the table. He stared down at the plate of orange chicken_._

[Yuuram]

_Yuuri walked down the dock toward Wolfram. The blonde sat at the end of the dock and had his feet in the water. "Wolf, be careful not to get sun burnt."_

_"I put sun block on at the cabin. Remember? I had you help." Wolfram didn't turn and look at him, just stared out across the water._

_Yuuri sat down next to the blonde wondering what he was thinking. "Wolfram?" The blonde looked at him slowly. "Are you okay?"_

Black and emerald eyes locked, "Yeah." The blonde slipped off and into the water and swam away from Yuuri. Yuuri sighed and stared after the blonde longingly.

_He laid his towel out next to Wolfram's before sitting out on the edge of the dock like Wolfram had been doing not even five minutes before. He felt the water first then the weight on his thighs. "Wolf?"_

_The blonde smiled up at him. "Are you going to join me?"_

_He stared into green eyes. "Yeah..." He could seem to stop his upper body from moving down. He didn't want to though. Somewhere in the back of his mind this seemed familiar, not just the time he had kissed Wolfram at summer camp, but something deeper. Like he'd done this before. Deeper then memories, this was soul deep._

_Wolfram just twisted his hands in Yuuri's swimming trunks as their lips met. Yuuri stared down into green eyes, his tan cheeks red, and Wolfram's pale cheeks just as red. "Yuuri?"_

_Yuuri opened his mouth but no sound came out. Wolfram pulled himself up out of the water and sat next to Yuuri and leaned against him, soaking his left side instantly, "I love you too."_

_"Wha... How...? I..." He took a deep breath and wrapped his arm around the blonde's shoulders, his cheeks pleasantly warm. "Yeah, Wolf, I love you."_

_Wolfram laughed and like always it was musical._

[Yuuri]

Yuuri stared at the girl who held out a note, a love note, out to him red faced. "Please accept it. Even if you don't return my feeling, please just take it. You don't even have to read it... just..." Yuuri reached up and grabbed the piece of folded paper and the girl let it slip, unwillingly, from her fingers.

He unfolded it and read the love deceleration of love quickly then locked eyes with the girl, "I'm sorry, Aya-Chan, but I'm in love with someone already."

He looked away expecting the girl to run away sobbing, but was really surprised when she didn't. "Yeah I know. You're in love with Wolfram," Her cheeks turned pink telling Yuuri that the girl had liked Wolfram, and the look in her eye told him she'd liked him, a lot, "everybody could tell. It was just waiting for you to figure it out.

"I know I can't replace Wolfram," she looked down, "and I don't really want to." Aya locked eyes with him in a very Wolframish way. "But I want you to try."

He looked at the girl. Her name was Aya, but she was far from Japanese, her blonde hair reminding him a lot of Cheri's when she had it straightened, her eyes blue in a way Japanese eyes could rarely be. Definitely a German girl, like she claimed to be. He sighed, "I'll think about it, okay."

Aya smiled brightly, "Thanks, Yuu-ri." He smiled at the awkward way she said his name as she turned and left him alone in the room. He walked over to the window and watched the rain fall. He felt a since of longing in himself that he could easily place.

Murata walked in not to much later, Yuuri turned and looked at the boy. "Two years Yuuri... Can you really believe it's already been that long?"

Yuuri let his eyes fall to the floor as he fought back his sadness and his inner demons. "No..."

Murata walked further into the room and closed the door behind him, "Still going to Germany for college?"

Yuuri nodded, "I just want to be closer to him..." He was facing the window now, he didn't want Murata reading him like always seemed to be able to do.

Murata sighed, he felt sorry for Yuuri. "Has talked to you lately?"

t

"No. Not since the last time I told you." Damn him. He could still read Yuuri with out even seeing his face.

Murata was shocked, "Yuuri that was a year and a half ago."

"I know..." His voice was nothing but a soft whisper, but the way he tensed told Murata what he had said with out actually hearing the words Yuuri had murmured.

His stomach turned over and his mouth tasted sour. He could feel the heartbreak coming off Yuuri and it was breaking his heart. "Yuuri maybe its time to let go...?" He expected Yuuri to lash out at him like he normally did when he suggested something to that nature.

Yuuri said nothing at all. The only reason Murata knew Yuuri heard him was the way he flinched. Murata had had many crushes, mostly on Wolfram, but Yuuri had been in love with the same person his whole life. Murata waited for his friend to do something and when it didn't happen he sighed grabbed both of their bags and left for the Shibuya house hold.

Yuuri came home well after dark, soaked and freezing.

[Yuuram]

_Yuuri smile fell as he realized that Wolfram still hadn't looked at him, still wouldn't kiss, and wouldn't let Yuuri touch him. He knew what the cause of all this was. "Wolfram, what was that you wanted to tell me?" Yuuri had to admit that he was dreading the answer._

_Wolfram's tongue darted out and wet his lips. "I guess I should just tell you," his eyes left the ground for the first time since their date started and looked him right in the eyes, "I slept with Murata..."_

_The world crashed down on him, his breath almost refused to come to him. He couldn't believe what he had just heard. He had to have misheard him somehow. Wolfram had cheated on him? He almost laughed and demanded him to end this joke when he saw the look in the blonde's green eyes. Wolfram really had slept with Murata. "Why? I thought... I thought you..."_

_The cold look in green eyes made him stop, that was the instant that Yuuri knew that it was his fault somehow. "I do love you, but you were never there." Tear-filled eyes looked away from him to the ocean crashing against the rocks below. "But he was... It was an accident..."_

_Anger filled Yuuri, no it was jealousy. "How could it be an accident?"_

_His voice was harsh, but Wolfram wasn't going to let him feel worse then he already did. His tears disappeared at that point. "I saw you and Hana! Whether "she started" or not you weren't exactly trying to stop it by pulling her closer."_

_"I was curious!"_

_Wrong thing to say. His cheek stung, and Wolfram looked like he want to push him off the edge. "So that gives you the right to cheat on me? Murata told me that you two fucked. You have no right to be mad at me. At least I didn't lie to you! I told you the truth. I should have left you, but I loved you so damn much that I ignored it. And then I walked in on you two..."_

_His voice trailed off and his eyes misted over and Yuuri watched Wolfram's heart break. "Wolf..." He reached out to touch him, but the boy ripped away from him._

_"Don't touch me, you hypocrite. I don't want that whore's germs." Wolfram began down the path but paused at the top. "I still love you... as stupid as it may be." He let out a bitter laugh. It was wet sounding and that how Yuuri knew he was crying._

[Yuuri]

Yuuri sat at his desk studying. His phone beeped telling him he had a text message. It was from Aya. _Yuuri, me and Murata are going to see a movie. Take a study break and come with us. ^_^3_ Yuuri smiled at the demand that should have came out a question. In every way the girl was very much like Wolfram, but he just wasn't interested in her. He'd tried to date her, but it had went bad. She was dating Murata now. He remembered how Hana had asked him out a short while after that, but the thought of dating her made him sick, and he turned her down instantly.

Maybe he just wasn't into girls anymore...

He put that thought aside and texted her back telling her okay. Before standing and stretching, he'd been studying since before lunch. He guessed it was time for a break. He changed his clothes and grabbed his dishes from his lunch before heading down to the kitchen. He washed the plate and cup before turning to his mom at the stove.

"Mom, I need some money." He smiled at her and tugged at one of the sleeves of the jacket he was wearing. It had belonged to Wolfram and he had founded mixed in with his clothes a couple of days ago. He was surprised that he hadn't found it sooner, it had after all been almost three years since the blonde had left it in his room.

She looked at her youngest son over her shoulder, "Why, Yuu-Chan?"

"Murata and Aya are going to the movies and they demanded that I come with them."

Jennifer smiled, "'kay Yuu-Chan. Mama will give you some money." It was safe to leave the pot untended for a couple of seconds, she walked over to the living room table and pulled out her wallet. She handed Yuuri ¥1,000(2). "Have fun Yuuri, and keep the change."

Yuuri just blinked at money wanting to protest, but his mom was already gone and the impatient knocking –pounding- on the door told him Murata and Aya were here. He sighed and placed the money in his own pocket. "I'm coming." he said loudly. "I'll call you later."

His mom just giggled and he hurried and put his shoes on and opened the door while Aya continued to pound on the door causing to get hit in the chest a couple of times before the girl had realized that he had opened the door.

Her cheeks didn't turn pink like they should have, but she looked up and he and smiled. "Sorry Yuuri... Wasn't paying attention..."

"Hey Yuuri."

"Hi Ken..." He looked around before sighing, "I thought you were setting me up on a blind date."

"I was going to." Murata said sheepishly. "But Aya wouldn't let me."

He turned and looked at the girl who just smiled softly at him, "When your ready you'll fall for some one. And I hope that he's at the bottom to catch you."

Yuuri sighed, he felt like a deflating balloon around this girl, "And you said he's because...?"

Murata laughed behind his hand and Aya giggled, "Because I'm a crazed yaoi fan girl and girls don't do anything for you anymore. That much is obvious. I mean you stare at guys asses as much as I do."

"Your staring at guys asses?" "I am not." Murata and Yuuri glared at Aya who laughed and continued walking. "You two are so cute."

[Yuuri]

It was late when he got home, and he found his parents snuggled up asleep on the couch together. He smiled. "Mom, dad." They were both fairly light sleepers, thankfully, and both of their eyes opened. "Its late you two should go to bed."

His dad yawned, nodded and stood. Jennifer stretched and stood grabbing Shouma's arm. "You got a package from Wolfram. I put it on your desk."

"Night, Yuuri."

Yuuri swallowed the lump in his throat and answered his dad. "Night, dad." He watched them walk off to their room before he raced upstairs. On his desk sat a box. He wrestled with the tape on it for a good five minutes before he finally got it off.

The box was filled with books, he knew what they were. The text books he'd need for the college he'd just got accepted to. He didn't realize that until later, what caught his eye was the envelope laying on top of the books addressed to him. He quickly ripped it open and read the contents.

_Yuuri_

_I know going to college here I Germany has been your plan all along. I knew when you stopped writing to me, I knew when you let me get on the plane with just a good-bye kiss that you were eventually going to follow me._

_And I'm not going to stop you like I should._

_I'm not going to lie to you and tell you I don't love you, because God knows I do. I don't think I'd ever be able to live with myself if I did. I've always loved you and probably always will. You and I can't be together though. Your just a boy and I'm expected to marry royalty. So I'm going to tell you now, love, because your going to find out sooner or later and sooner is better, I'm engaged to be married. To a_ girl_ no less. It makes me sick. You should really just give up on us and stay in Japan. It'd be better for both of us._

_I'll always love you._

_Wolfram_

The smeared ink told him that Wolfram had been crying when he wrote it, and his tears caused the ink to smear further as he let out a frustrated sob. He didn't even try to hide it or hold it back. He sobbed loudly collapsing to the ground, dropping the note, he burred his face in his hands. Soon arms wrapped around him as his mother pulled him against her chest. He could here him whispering "It'll be okay." in his ear in between talking to his dad.

He cried himself to sleep in his mothers arms.

[Yuuram]

_They'd stayed up all night, huddled together under the blanket watching their favorite movies. Conrad was surprised that they weren't upstairs locked in Wolfram's room having sex. With the smell he caught off them he knew they had been at sometime during the night, but now they sat intertwined on the couch watching the movie that played on the screen, talking is low voices. He couldn't see how they could be comfortable with the way they were sitting. It made his back hurt just looking at it._

_He swallowed back his own regret and sadness for letting Wolfram leave. "Morning." He said softy. They almost ripped apart, almost. Meaning Conrad had caught them messing around. They were good at hiding it though. "I'll make breakfast while you two bathe." They had the decency to turn scarlet, and he laughed. "What do you want?"_

_"Breakfast burritos." Wolfram answered shortly and Yuuri just shrugged meaning he didn't care._

_"Breakfast burritos it is." Conrad said with another laugh. He left them on the couch and hadn't even made it through the kitchen door when he heard two hurried foot steps going up the stairs and Wolfram's voice, "Hurry up before my mother wakes up! Or worse Gwendal!" Conrad laughed again. They were too cute._

_The laugh died in his throat though, knowing this was one of the last times that they'd be able to be together._

_Hands wrapped around his waste, "I believe the little brat requested breakfast burritos, you know you better have them made by the time he gets out of the bathroom."_

_Conrad sighed, "Well considering Yuuri's here I'd say we have about an hour..." The man behind him laughed into his shoulder._

_"Well, considering they want to be done by the time Gwendal up, I doubt it."_

_"Fine, but Yozak, I can't cook with you molesting me." He got another laugh. "Grab an apron and help me."_

_Yozak just smiled back at him and grabbed the frilly pink one that belong to Cecile and threw Conrad his. They had finished by the time Wolfram and Yuuri had seated themselves at the island. Not two minutes later Gwendal walked into the room and the two teenagers looked sheepishly at him whispering to themselves._

_"What are you two up to?" Gwendal growled._

_"Aww... Leave them alone Gwen." Cecile said walking, more like gliding, into the room. "They're just saying their good-byes." The atmosphere in the whole room had changed and she knew she'd said the wrong thing._

_"Here Wolfram." Conrad placed two burritos on his plate. "Two to start with, you can have more later." He placed two on Yuuri's plate and got a thanks instead of a 'this is all I get' look._

_Wolfram interlaced his fingers with Yuuri's and picked up a burrito with the other hand. Yuuri follow suit, tightening the grip and picking up one of his own burritos with hid hand. Neither one noticed that everyone else had left the room, and they didn't say anything just continued to eat. Of course Wolfram out ate him twice._

_They were at the air port before Yuuri knew it. Everybody just ignored Wolfram's out bursts, ignored the strangers that stared at the German boy begging to stay in Japan. His heart hurt and his eyes burned. He and Wolfram sat next to each other on uncomfortable airport chairs, Murata on his other side. They just chattered away about everything putting off good-byes until they couldn't anymore._

_And that time had arrived way before any of them wanted it to. First Wolfram said good-bye to his family, family friends, and Gunter. Then he came to Murata and without hesitation Wolfram hugged him. Murata was put off at first, but quickly hugged him back. They said some things that Yuuri couldn't hear before Wolfram pulled away and placed a lingering kiss on Murata's lips. He pulled completely away from him and turned to Yuuri._

_Yuuri had been shocked to see him kiss Murata, but he ignored it. "I..."_

_"I'm going to miss you the most, Yuuri." Wolfram was looking out the glass wall behind Yuuri._

_"I know." Yuuri said softly. "We'll see each other again." He stayed away from having Wolfram make promises knowing the blonde probably couldn't keep them and it'd just break both of their hearts._

_"Yeah." The final boarding call announcement sounded and Wolfram sighed._

_Yuuri smiled and fought back his tears. "Bye Wolfram." He placed a soft kiss on pink lips and let go of his hand._

1: Those are all the flash backs in order. Cause I know it was confusing. ^x^

2: That's about $100 dollars.


	2. AN

Umm… Hello everyone! Aya here, the writer of |[HbP]| . It seems that everybody really wants me to write a sequel to this. I, personally, don't think that I should, not saying that I can't or won't it's just that Yuuri isn't going to end up with Wolfram. I mean I could throw a fling or two in there, but there's going to be a somewhat tragic ending. So I don't see the point in writing it…

-_-# Anthem wants me to write a sequel and she knows where I sleep…

Anyway tell me what you think. If you really want one I'll write it, but I don't know how many people are going to like it. I was also thinking about re-writing this from Wolfram's point of view. And since this would make more sense as the title of Wolfram's story I thought about something like "To Never See Him Again" or "To Lose Him Forever". I don't know quite yet. Just PM me or write what you think in a review.

Aya


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